Saturday Spotlight: Life Behind the Blogger

Brenda from Cozy Little House

This week I have Brenda from Cozy Little House .  I have followed Brenda's blog but never really got to know her until I read her feature.  You will enjoy getting to know Brenda's honest approach to her feature and her blog.  

When Kris asked me to write about myself, I was suddenly wondering what on earth I'd say. I mean, I'm sure most of you get more than enough of me every day at Cozy Little House. Which is somewhat of a misnomer, since I currently reside in an apartment.

What more could I possibly tell you that I haven't already? Probably not much.

And I don't have hardly any photos of myself. I'm always the person behind the camera.

Since starting Cozy Little House in April 2009 (then losing all my posts in July 2013, then starting anew) many of you have missed all that happened before. And I don't want to rehash it, for much of it is not very happy and somewhat unsettling. 

What I am is a prolific writer. I have wanted to be a writer since I was no taller than a yard stick. If I wasn't copying words out of the dictionary, I was writing about the goings-on in my little neighborhood. 

My daughter & Andrew

To me "news" was of vital importance, even if it was just about a neighbor's cat that had kittens. Everyone needed very much to know, I thought!

I've been married three times, which either says I'm not good at being married or perhaps not good at choosing men. Whichever it is and maybe it's both, I won't be going down that road again. I have absolutely no desire to ever have a man in my life again. I just don't think I could go there for lots of reasons.


I am happy at home with the pupsters, Abi Rose and Charlie Ross, who are nearing 9 years old now! Oh, how did they grow up so fast?


They are lying right here beside me, which is where they almost always are. If I get up and leave the room, I can't stop abruptly or the little train that is the pupsters will collide.

Some people worry that I don't veer outside the confines of my home much, but they needn't worry. I am chatting online in my virtual world. I am talking on the phone with other bloggers. 

I'm not much of a cook. Oh, I baked bread and cooked and baked a lot when my kids were young. But now, I loll about and I might eat oatmeal for supper. Three nights in a row.

I'm one of those people who desires to be a great cook, but just does not have the motivation that is necessary for such an endeavor. 

If I was in the kitchen, I might be missing out on something in the patio garden. I would not be as on top of things on my blogs as I want to be. I might actually miss a bird visiting my patio!

You know how much I love gardening. I take endless photos out there on the patio. I am most happy when digging in the dirt. Whether that be in the ground or a container. 

You do know the earth laughs in flowers, don't you?

Oh, and I just found out I was nominated for the Amara Interior Blog Awards last week. My first thought upon reading it was: Is this a joke? 

Then it was actually fear. Because it said the short-listers would be going to London in the fall for the ceremony. I'm sure I won't be in that category, so I don't think I should be very concerned. 

I left it sitting in my email inbox for days, wondering what to do. If I wrote about it on my blog, it would be more real. I'm sure by the time others read this, I will have mentioned it though. I even forgot to ask what I was nominated for!

I thought: Me? No, I can't do that. The thought terrifies me. But then that's the autistic side of me talking I suppose.

I'm very humbled and grateful for the nomination. I can't imagine why someone would think of me in that regard here in my somewhat rundown (outwardly anyway) little one bedroom apartment!

Moving onward, I suppose my chief motivation these days is helping other women. And of course for me that means online. I know what it is to be afraid and not be able to find answers.

As other women have helped me both now and in the past, when I was trying to get up my courage to leave and divorce my last husband. 

If not for all of my readers and blog friends, I don't know that I'd ever have gotten up the nerve. He kept saying I couldn't do it. All of you kept saying: "Oh, yes you can."

And so, in August of 2011, I filed for divorce. I was terrified. I needed every one of you to stand next to me so I wouldn't fall. You didn't let me down. You have no idea what that means to me.

It's been hard. It's been scary. I broke both sides of my ankle in July of 2012. I've had two surgeries since. If it hasn't been one thing, it seems it's been another.

I'm ever so thankful to Doreen of House Honeys who set up a GoFundMe account for me because, due to a string of bad luck, I was scared half to death I wasn't going to make the rent and feed the pupsters the last months.

I have so much to be thankful for. So many people who have cheered me on.

Maybe I didn't have a mother or father or a traditional family, but I have a slew of wonderful blogging friends and loyal readers that I adore. 

I yearn to do research (which is another love of mine) and give women all the information and news and facts they might need in this often difficult world. Much like that little girl back in the late sixties, who shyly walked door-to-door to hand out her carefully typed pages she called a newspaper.

Except I'm no longer writing about new litters of kittens. I'm writing about this and that and everything. I guess I'm not much of a "niche" blogger now I think of it. 

I found out some months ago that I have Aspergers Syndrome, which was a bit of a shock. But at least it gave me answers as to why I'm not sociable, and very uncomfortable in situations that most people have few problems with. 

Well, except fellow Aspies, as I've learned they're called.

Have I gone on long enough? Sometimes I get going and am hard to shut up. 

I might not have what it takes to attend a party and chit-chat, but I can write to you endlessly online. Because this is my safe place. For which I am so very grateful.

Thank you Kris for giving me this space to devote to me, this blogger behind the blog. 

I love this series and I think every blogger truly wants to know just who a blogger is. Not just see her pretty pictures and skim the periphery of her life.

I'm a real Robert Frost and Emily Dickinson fan. They are my two very favorite poets in the world.

I'll leave you with my favorite poem by Robert Frost...

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though; 
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near

Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. 


  1. Kris...thank you so much! Brenda has been a forever friend.

    Brenda---this was delightful. You never fail to inspire me with your story. All the best and much love.

    Jane xx

  2. Hi Brenda........i think your home has more personality than most of us have in our entire home! your award is well-deserved nomination and your gardens are equally as beautiful Have a great weekend!

  3. GOod morning Kris and Brenda! Brenda, it was so great to meet you! I tried entering your blog but the page kept jumping around and wouldn't stop to allow me to read on or leave a comment. Thank you for opening up about your life. I have found that through blogging, I have met the best friends who among about three of them, are truly always there for me, more that anyone who is close to me in proximity. I also can understand your need to write. I too as a child, teen and young adult would always write and share in some capacity. I wish you Brenda, all the LOVE in the world as you give love and support to others. Kris, thank you for sharing bloggers on your feature here! Anita

  4. I love Brenda and her blog! She has been so supportive and helpful and never tells you she's too busy to chat a few minutes!

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  6. Kris, I just love your Saturday features. It's always fun to make new friends or read about good ones. I consider Brenda to be the latter! :) It was lovely to see her here today!

  7. Brenda is a favorite blogger of mine!

  8. I have followed Brenda since I started blogging. She is very creative and her home reflects that creativity. I never knew of her struggles though. Thanks for sharing, Kris.

  9. I have been reading Brenda's blog a very long time and it's one of my favorites. This is another wonderful and well-written post!

  10. Thanks Kris for featuring Brenda she is a lovely blogger. We have shared our stories with each other and I truly admire her. Life is hard but it makes us a better and stronger person. Have a wonderful weekend. Jo

  11. I am so glad you featured Brenda, at Cozy Little House. Her blog is amazing and she is an amazing woman. It was great to read about her. She is just a regular person. . with lots of talent, and creativity and has gone through many trials. Like I said an amazing woman. Thanks for sharing. Karie

  12. Kris, I have known Brenda, well thru blogging as she says, since she was getting her divorce. I know in my heart, there are stories in this lady and oh how I wish she would write them,. Thanks for featuring Brenda, Blessings, xoxo,Susie

  13. Thank you for featuring Brenda Kris. Of course, we all know her, but there seems to be no end to her story, and I agree with Susie...there's so much more for her to share. She does indeed have miles to go before she sleeps.

  14. I follow Brenda's blog, and enjoyed getting to know yet a little more about her today. Thank you, Kris. Brenda, thank you for raising awareness of Asperger's. I just wonder how many adults have lived their lives not being diagnosed. We have a nephew on my husband's side who has been tested, and while not conclusively ruled out, it will be something to monitor as he enters kindergarten this fall. Learning about it and early intervention will be key to his development if it is, indeed, the conclusive dx.

  15. What a wonderful post! My nephew is autistic, lives in a group home and attends school.
    You are an inspiration Brenda. Thank you for your honest, and open post.
    I've always enjoyed your blog.

  16. I've been blogging with Brenda for year, long before she divorced. Followed her to her little blue house and now to the apartment.
    Thaks, Kris, for highlighting her.

  17. It was lovely to get to know you a little better, Brenda ~ I've been following you for about 2 years now, and you are one amazing woman!

  18. Brenda is such a valiant woman. I am thankful that she found the safe place of blogging to unleash her voice. I can well understand the miracle of that myself. It seems like the more we know about Brenda, the more there is to know because she is constantly unfolding, like the petals of a rose that open. Nothing would surprise me in the future for Brenda. I don't think she even comprehends how she may be used as the years ahead pass. Even though I wish with all my heart that Brenda had had a wonderful Hollywood happy family life from the time she was born, God is using her past to make her sphere of influence larger and larger than it might ever have been if her story was different.

    I don't think we've even begun to see what this strong woman will do and be, all because of the vulnerabilities she has had before.

    Thank you, Kris, for letting Brenda tell us her story here.

  19. Thank you, Kris, for featuring Brenda. She is uniquely gifted friend who is generous with her time and sharing what she has learned. She gives a lot to the blogging community and truly appreciates and knows her readers. Have a great weekend! ~julie

  20. Thank you so much, Kris for introducing us to Brenda. I am heading over to her blog now and following her because she sounds like a kindred spirit.

    1. Oh my gosh it's THAT Brenda! LOL I'm already following her on social media but didn't make the connection. I've just subscribed to her blog feed.

  21. I have followed Brenda for years and it was nice to see her featured here. I will have to check out that award she is nominated for.

    I love your new chippy header. With the wedding, I have done no decorating here. Now I am working on a baby shower Aylin is hosting. But I look at your gorgeous chippy house and am feeling motivated to do something at our house.

  22. I am proud to say I know Brenda...if only in a blogging way...but Brenda is an open, honest lady who you will come to love and be proud of to if you follow her..Love you Brenda!

  23. Kris,
    Thank you for doing this. I have enjoyed meeting so many bloggers.
    I am off to visit Brenda.

  24. Love Brenda, her dogs and her blog. Her's was one of the very first blogs I followed. She is a gem. Thanks for featuring her. I always enjoy reading your blog as well.

  25. Brenda is a generous blogger and a brave, creative woman! Thanks for sharing more about her!

  26. Brenda has been a great friend to me for years and years and she's one of the most generous people I know. I'm so happy you spotlighted her and that she was nominated for an award :)


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